International Joke Day - 1st July

Tomorrow 1st July is International Joke day so please see haw many jokes we can come up with in the 24hrs of the day.

It is also International Chicken Wing Day.and National Wrong Trousers Day

1 Like

Is there a special prize for combining all three?

I think that wearing the wrong trousers dangling a couple of chicken wings could be seen as a good joke.

I think I speak for everyone when I say we look forward to seeing that selfie tomorrow. :wink:

1 Like

Little Pete works in the Pickle factory, and has done for the last 20 years. He comes home one evening, after a long days work pickling, and says to little Suzi (his wife) “Heaven help me little Suzi, I was picklin’ the pickles today, when I was struck with the near irresistible urge to put little Pete’s pecker in the pickle slicer! Fortunately, I saw sense and didn’t do it!”
Little Suzi says “Lord have mercy Little Pete! That could have gotten messy, real quick… thank goodness you didn’t risk Little Pete’s pecker! Do you think you need to see a psychiatrist?”
“No ma’am, little Suzi! Little Pete’s pecker stays where it is, I think I’d rather work through this crazy urge with my own strength and resolve!”
Little Suzi says “Well you be safe, and keep Little Pete’s pecker out of the pickle slicer!”
The next day, Little Pete comes home early from work… “Little Suzi, a’yer there?”
Little Suzi shouts “Oh heavens Little Pete, why are you home so early?”
Little Pete says “Heavens to Betsy, Little Suzi… Little Pete’s been fired from the pickling plant for putting Little Pete’s pecker in the pickle slicer!”
“Are you hurt?” Little Suzi sobs “Is Little Pete’s pecker in one piece?”
“Err, yeah ‘tis…” says Little Pete, “Little Pete’s pecker is ok, but Little Pete’s pride is hurtin’… Little Pete has pickled pickles in the pickling plant for 20 years and he’s thrown it all away because Little Pete had to feel what it was like putting Little Pete’s pecker in the pickle slicer! The foreman saw me doing it and shouted across the factory floor… LITTLE PETE, TAKE YOUR PECKER OUT OF THAT THERE PICKLE SLICER RIGHT NOW!!!.. of course, the whole factory turned and watched Little Pete take Little Pete’s pecker out of the pickle slicer…”
“Jumpin’ Jesus Little Pete… “ Little Suzi says, “I hope you wiped the Pickle slicer down after doing that?”
Little Pete said “Well I gave her a hand up off the floor, but I think she got fired too…”

I knew what was coming but still laughed :smiley::rofl:

Two strangers are sitting in a bar one day and they strike up a conversation over a few beers. As they’re chatting the first fella says, “So, do you have any hobbies?”
The second chap replies, “Yeah, I keep bees.”
“Well bugger me,” says the first drinker, “what a coincidence - I keep bees too!”
“Oh right, how many bees have you got?” the second drinker asks.
“About 30,000 bees and a dozen hives,” comes the prideful response. “How about you, how many bees do you have?”
The second man ponders for a moment and says.“I reckon I must have about 30,000 bees, too.”
“Incredible!” says the first smiling quaffer, “And how many hives have you got?”
“Oh, just the one,” comes the reply.
Slightly incredulously, the first chap asks, “30,000 bees…in one hive?! Aren’t they really cramped in there.”
The second looks up from his pint and shrugs. “Ah, fuck 'em.”

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now…