A Viz quote…
If the sole is coming off your shoe simply remove it altogether and walk round a Wetherspoons pub then stick it back on
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Or set off 20 mins earlier
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If you can convince the train driver to set of 20 minutes early that would be impressive. 
Slip him £20, apparently they are underpaid 
Ah the old ‘train drivers are striking for money’ misunderstanding. 
I know it’s working practices and reduction of staff etc, but where’s the fun in being factually accurate?
Facts are often not as funny, whether they are true or not!
