Here’s an interesting little fact, it’s not necessarily funny though…but that was an actual question, back in “ye olde times”…
How can you tell the king, after a battle, how many of the other side are dead or unable to fight again? Not everyone could count back then…
So…ladies would go out to the battle field and cut off the right hand of all the dead/injured enemy.
They put these hands in a bag slung over their shoulder…
They called this a “hand bag”…
When they got to the king, and he asks, “well…how many”? The bag would be emptied…and this was “a show of hands”.
Not funny, but true. 
Did you know that they took the severed appendages back to the “castle/hall/tower” etc. and set the fingers on fire to use as candles… hence, many hands make light work!
The first manned flight to Mars lands. Immediately a bunch of Martians come out to greet them. The Earth people are amazed and a bit scared but they’re really friendly and chatty. There’s lots of food and drink offered and consumed, then the Martians ask the Earth people about the differences between their planets. There’s a long discussion.
“So do you guys have religion? A god?” asks an Earthling.
“Oh yeah. We’re all Christians”
“Christians!!?? What, you mean as in Jesus?”
”Oh yeah sure. Jesus is a really nice guy. He visits us a couple of times a year”
”Wait…. He visits???”
”Of course. He’s such a cool dude, we love having him here. When it’s time to leave we make him up a big box full of his favourite chocolate bars. He really loves that. What did you guys do for him when he visited your place last time?”
Pictures or it didn’t happen.
Well I’m convinced.
