Just remember… no matter how hard you push the envelope, it’s still stationery!
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Jeez, I find all this gender-slapping so disruptive and offensive… we should ALL be able to sit down and discuss issues like REAL men! 
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There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor.
The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don’t forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream.
“You might want to write it down,” she said.
The husband said, “No, I can remember that you want a bowl of ice cream.”
She then told her husband she wanted a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream.
“Write it down,” she told him, and again he said, “No, no, I can remember: you want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream.”
Then the old lady said she wants a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top.
“Write it down,” she told her husband and again he said, “No, I got it. You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top.”
So he goes to get the ice cream and spends an unusually long time in the kitchen, over 30 minutes. He comes out to his wife and hands her a plate of eggs and bacon.
The old wife stares at the plate for a moment, then looks at her husband and asks, “Where’s the toast?”
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Which is ironic, as it seems to me that most of the time, our parliament acts like a play school. 
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We have two houses of delinquent morons telling us what to do.
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Johnny was excited about his new .338 rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He travelled up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Soon after there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.
The black bear said, “That was a very bad mistake. That bear was my cousin. I’m going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have sex.” After considering briefly, Johnny decided to accept the latter alternative.
So the black bear had his way with Johnny. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Johnny soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip to Alaska where he found the black bear and shot it dead. Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him.
The grizzly said, “That was a big mistake, Johnny. That bear was my cousin and you’ve got two choices: Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex.”
Again, Johnny thought it was better to cooperate with the grizzly bear than be mauled to death. So the grizzly had his way with him. Although he survived, it took several months before he fully recovered.
Now Johnny was completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska and managed to track down the grizzly bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then, moments later, there was a tap on his shoulder.
He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there. The polar bear looked at him and said, “Admit it Johnny, you don’t come here for the hunting, do you?”
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