It’s a continual form of amusement for me.
Arrive at some bike meet, wait for the noisy/custom/harley/chop types to appear as a group and look at the faces. They all look like they’ve got the hump.
Buy a tea, stand so you can watch the bikes arrive and enjoy. 
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I met Guy when he delivered one of those Gladstone bobbers to my mate.
He waited ages for it but when he got the call to say it was being delivered he was away and got me to ride over to his place and meet up with Skid (and Hamish).
Got to ride it first and later on the Distinguished Gentleman’s Ride.
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They are very nice. Very nice indeed. 
(whisper - deep pockets required)
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Not today but spent most of yesterday in Royal Oldham Hospital having an ascitic drain fitted.
All went well until after six hours draining it was time for the drain to be removed. Normally a doctor does this but the ward sister turned up with a tray and announced she was doing it. I was slightly taken aback but hey ho.
Now the doctor who put the drain in explained exactly what he was doing and how they work. They make a hole with a needle and then push a fine plastic tube into your abdominal cavity. They then somehow pull a fine string which causes the end of the tube (the end inside you) to form a loop, so the drain can’t come out. They even showed me one in a packet, it’s like a straw with a loop on the end. The doctor explained that you have to cut the string which releases the loop and then you can just draw out a straight tube, no problem. I have had this done before.
Back to 21:30 last night.
The nurse took the plasters off.
I said “you need to cut the string”.
She said “no I don’t”.
I said “yes you do”.
She said “NO I DON’T”
and started to yank on the drain which didn’t want to come out.
In lot’s of pain I shouted at her to stop.
She stopped for a second or two then continued yanking at the tube, me screaming until it came out.
I got dressed, calmly tried to reason with her but she was having none of it and told me that she didn’t believe what the doctor had told me.
Not a nice end to the day but at least I did get rid of 4.5 litres of unwanted fluid.
Edit: And I’m much slimmer now. 
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As a nurse, I gotta say that is piss poor behaviour 
… I’m really sorry you suffered that… Hope you’re feeling better.
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Yes thanks I’m feeling much better. Still sore but lighter and slimmer. Should be able to get out on the bike soon.
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A nasty experience, Andy. Glad you are feeling better now.
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That sounds horrid - but at least you’re slimmer… 
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Not very nice mate, but glad to hear that you are now slimmer.
You can look forward to eating lots to put the weight back on!
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And they said he was just full of hot air… 
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I hope you reported the experience, she needs to be prevented from doing that again without a little retraining first 
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Mate, I’d be making a formal complaint about that to the hospital trust via PALS or whatever they are called. As a bare minimum after dismissing what you told her originally she should have stopped once it was clear she was causing you pain and consulted the doctor. She clearly needs some training on this otherwise she’ll do the same to the next poor sod she comes across. Makes you wonder what else she does wrong woth an attitude like that. It could have been worse though…it could have been me. Glad it’s all done though and you’re on the mend
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Piss and wind would be more accurate?
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Shit, I’ve just noticed I’ve got the same slippers as you 
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Oh my Andy what kind of behaviour is that. Pleased you are home and no serious problems following her actions.
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@HelmutVisor and @Littleade - At first I was a bit miffed and thought about ringing someone at the hospital then my wife started with “she might lose her job”, “she might be the family breadwinner”, “she might send money to family overseas” etc etc so I didn’t complain.
Anyway, this morning I had a call from a very nice lady at the hospital who said she was the “Liver Nurse” and she was going to monitor me from now on. It turns out that there are two types of drain and there is one type that doesn’t have a loop and can be pulled straight out. The Ultrasound team which fitted mine always use the ones WITH loops.
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Tesco ? ? ?
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A complaint can be a valuable offer of feedback to help the hospital and staff update their internal processes and training. It’s always worth saying something, i think. Anyway, glad you’re feeling better and getting ready to ride again soon. Just in time for the good weather,
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No Dr Keller off evilbay😉
The point is she obviously didn’t know this (I hope - and not just a sadistic bitch) and needs further training / educating.
Hope all’s well now. 
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